hey there,
I looked at the wifi icon and it was full, beautifully black, with three bright eventail stripes. My subconscious and fingers were pouncing the clavier trying to google something. But the screen wasn’t loading. Frustration was the last word that would come to mind. Not disappointing: it hurt me physically. A bit like walking close to a sharp cliff. We were staying at an Airbnb in Joshua Tree accompanied by those loud instincts of a fast life you can’t switch off vacationing in a desert: we wanted to see and do and eat everything in 2 days while checking our emails and each other's looks. Here's how to bring your body, your heart and your wildness online instead of living in your head & your phone >
A botticellian wavy blonde who plays cello, makes beanbag chairs and probably codes. She's just turned 12. Likes to observe and make candid remarks about adult relationship dynamics. Her curious mom with no bullshit sense of reality flips some great wisdom while cooking the best hamburgers. A fierce and very competitive energy bunny with short wavy hair, who's keen on hiking at 6 am, likes having a proper schedule and a mapped-out itinerary, all packed and ready 3 hours before we leave. And me - a genuine dreamy internet junkie with emotional volatility due to a recent hormonal disbalance after the first round of egg freezing - sandwiched in-between. We wore flower pendants while playing with feminine energies and all things esoteric. And the whole thing with a healthy side of Goop recommendations.
Learning from other women via resonance is something I discovered from Michaela Boehm a couple of years ago. I call her my teacher. The one that people say - "will come to your life when you are ready." She is this inspiring cross between a reputable Jungian analyst and a mysterious sexy tantrika. With Kashmir Shaivism lineage, more than 30K therapy hours under her belt and a colorful ranch in Ojai full of disheveled adopted dogs, goats and always famished swines, Michaela is the archetype of an empress who is sovereign, unyielding and unapologetic, but she calls herself a wild woman and initiates all her students and clients to dive deep into it, because this untamed aspect is the true authentic side of all humans, our core self that we pile up and patch with societal expectations. Can you be grown-up and wild? “Oh, YES, you can!!”
You are probably wondering what I want to learn from a 12 year old girl who plays cello?! Actually a lot. Or re-learn, to be more accurate. Because when I was her age I was the same curiosity (still eager to ask a lot of questions), soaking everything up by observing and playing impossible imaginary situations aloud (“what will happen when I pass my drivers license and get into my first accident?”). I think rewilding is a bit of traveling back in time to your inner child. Here I will leave you wondering what else I've learned or re-learned from my wild women circle, but resonance phenomena is so powerful. You just have to feel into it and act it out. All those different personas you can be (I am working on diva and seductress) - what could be more intoxicating than a woman who constantly changes like water flowing through fingers?! Isn’t that wild? Everything we see in others is in us already, you just have to ignite it. Give it a try. Play with this reverberation. And the more it triggers you, the more interesting the exploration will be. Adore your fierce girlfriend - taste that flavor. Not fond of your mother?! Guess what, there is a lot to unpack there as well.
ELEMENTS OF REWILDING:
WILD WOMEN ARCHETYPE. What the heck is that?! Paraphrasing Michaela Boehm, wild woman archetype is a portal into “just being yourself.” That’s who we are before being conditioned into collective constructs. “Each of us is born with a natural genius” and it’s great when you can hear it talking. And it speaks through your body - the best way to rewild is being in the nature and - embodiment. It will help you understand what’s yours and what’s not - in the noise of everyday entanglements with the world.
“EMBODIMENT is the new sexy”, says somatic sexologist Dolly Josette. Almost all life I lived in the head. My body was this sac of bones that helped me to go from point A to point B, and to model my fashion looks. Until I learned how to translate different archetypal energies, enjoy myself more and harness intuition using my bodily sensations thanks to this Austrian goddess. Not sure where my bodily ignorance came from but I was convinced that all the most interesting and important experiences are happening up there, in neural connections (a good brain is so sexy, too, right?!). Although embodiment practices through movement, feeling into the body, touching yourself to map sensations are not only good tools for sensitization or pleasure - it’s foundation for general well being and works as a therapy. Michaela compares it to “flossing” - when you release pent-up energy generated by all kinds of stressors.
GENEROSITY OF THE HEART. This was why I fell in love with Michaela first of all: she kept repeating generosity is the secret of all successful relationships. And I kept nodding in agreement. It’s really fulfilling to live a life with love in your heart. For it to be so abundant that it overflows. Find happy and generous people and get addicted to each other. Because you don’t want anything less than that! Generosity is also a good way to judge people’s character - always keep closer those who make an extra step for you. I often use this practice - give more at first, and then see if it’s reciprocated back to you: a simple experiment to see if that’s a person you want to find yourself with in difficult circumstances. Always curious to meet those who add a little bit more on top when returning your favor. Those are a rare breed!!
BEING UNAPOLOGETIC. Kind but unyielding. Honestly, I have a tendency to apologize first, to appease and placate if the situation requires but voicing opinions and standing up for what I believe in is really important for me. Want to have more of that? Train yourself to trust your body deeper, further, faster - to make a difference between your childhood wounds and your gut. Then your decision making skills will become as sharp as my ceramic chef’s knife (which, honestly, is very acute). In addition, exploring your dark side is insanely interesting. Traversing into the magical wickedness from being a good girl for ages was a revelation: now I schedule days for my dark goddess, where I storm, squirm, and curse like bad weather dealing with lost Fedex packages, uncooperative situations or just burned pancakes. Obviously, getting what you want is really sexy, makes you feel good and attracts more of that energy from outside.
DISCIPLINE + TRUSTING THE WORLD. Focus and concentration are crucial when you cultivate the qualities you are seeking to embody. Want more sensuality but never set aside time to romance your senses? Simple five minutes of palo santo ritual makes me more alive and aware. Want more beauty but proceed with the real life things when you have an opportunity to create or observe it? For the whole month I told myself I would go to see Jonas Wood exhibition but never did, though I would pass by the space multiple times a day. Or would wear my usual shorts and t-shirt uniform for 3 months straight without slipping into a dress or an orchestrated outfit for sensual delight. Want a beautiful body but never give it your attention? I am the worst, let’s not even go there or I will start crying with despair! And then the radical opposite strikes - a wise woman or man guru tells you to trust the universe that everything what’s happening to you is for your greater good. Personally I often get confused when to give up and when to persist, but, hey, no one gave me the script for my life, or even sent a memo on the dress code. So I undulate between directing and surrendering. With the average degree of precision, pinch of procrastination, lots of will power, stubbornness, optimism and immense desire for always experiencing pleasure while encountering hardships of life I train myself everyday to alternate between go and flow on my own command.
Hope this is resonating with you. If I can’t confuse you even more, then why don’t you explore your untamed essence? Find people who seem wild enough for you to follow. Need support in your rewilding? You can reach out to me for personalized recipes. We are starting a wild woman group soon! But in the meantime, just put on a piece of music and start moving. Moving what you are feeling (I feel tense when I write this). Start swaying your hips. In circles. Close your eyes. Feel your body. Wiggle your toes. Feel the breath going up and down. Follow it. Just follow your breath. Then squeeze all the muscles and keep them there for a second. Release and feel the tension go away. Then do it again. If it’s after 6pm, I end it with an epsom bath. Then, I sit on top of a clay or pink colored fortress which is my bed, and observe aliveness: feel my head releasing the clench, jaw letting go of the stress, massage feet until they start tingling with pleasure. Splash oily cream onto thighs. Upper arms. Get some homeoplasmine on my lips. Envelop hands into this weird almost made - for automobile engine balm in a metal can that I found in Pioneertown. And move a bit more, to the side of naughty. It doesn’t matter if it results in a more adventurous you (think of vacationing in your pjs), better orgasms (and more of them) - or simply able to enjoy a bouquet of flowers - this wild thing is a step towards a more exciting life.
#wildgrownup #theparadoxoflife
Yurga
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my latest fascinations >
1) “Talent: How to Identify Energizers, Creatives, and Winners Around the World” book by Tyler Cowen and David Gross. Fascinating read despite your relationship with the startup hype. Helps to evaluate your own talents and definitely a good guide if you are dating (think how do I choose my next husband).
2) Doing flower arrangements. The best recipe for your feminine explorations. Bring 5 different kinds of flowers that go together from your groceries shopping and start making a bouquet. Consider it your creative exercise of the week!!
3) Flea market run. Obviously because what else can make your Sunday more exciting if not this undiscovered yet vintage slip. Who wants to lose the thrill of the hunt by just going to the store next door?
4) Junethings Flower Pendant. I am still obsessed with it - small one every day and bigger version on weekends and special moments. Astrological one is the best gift ever!
5) Did you know that porn makes the 1/3 of world’s internet traffic! Blows my mind! Swedish creatrix of ethical porn Erika Lust speaks at TED Austria conference advocating for porn created by women for women. She has forever embarrassed her mom with the slogan: “life is too short for bad porn" headlining her weekly newsletter. Explore!!
6) Ted Lasso series. Watch it every time I feel sad. Smart and funny, soothes me. I strongly believe in goodness and kindness.
7) Weird camodogenic desert balm that smells like vacation for legs and hands. Can’t do anything about it! Addicted.
8) Cranberries to avoid Alzheimers. Did you know a cup of cranberries a day can help you avoid getting dementia?!
9) Best lubrication for play or sport or anything else with nonstaining silicone & moisturizing vitamin E. “Uberlube is everything it promises to be: it is colorless, odorless, tasteless, temperature neutral - and will last as long as you do. There is no residue - no feeling of having something there that needs to be washed off. We could not possibly find anything better” state this outstanding and embarrassing product’s review on Amazon.
10) Short silk dresses. Because the long ones need to rest. Savor the end of the summer, even if you already need leggings and boots with them!