edit: SEPTEMBER (2021)
hey there,
I salute you with crispy yellowish leaves and cold mornings🍂. How did we get here? Wasn’t January yesterday? By the way, I started writing this in July. Yep. I find myself spending days either running around like a squirrel (similar to the one that caused micro havoc in a North Dakota household) or all disheveled sitting in my pajamas and typing this text frustratedly without finishing (this is not about clitoral orgasms, though). For some reason, I can’t mix writing and staying efficient with my life logistics. Lockdown was an exemplary time to read, and I developed a pretty nice blogging discipline. I came back to doing what I did when fresh out of high school and later didn’t pursue - I started being publicly opinionated without any restraints again. This is not an ideal segway into today’s subject - on being weird - but if you consider being weird as being yourself, then it’s all falling into the right places. Doing what you want and amping this to the fullest most pleasurable form - welcome to the world of peculiar.
Is being weird just being you? As always - in five little segments that chop each other’s fingers and then kiss one another pretty intensely >
> NOT CONFORMING
The other day (months ago), I read a “let yourself be quirky” article in The Guardian, where Martha Beck discussed why pandemic forced people to ask themselves “what do I want from my life?”. She was saying that there is no road back to the way things were pre-lockdown: we need to follow our gut instinct instead of being led by societal expectations. This text surprised me - not everyday a British newspaper bathes in the self-help domain. “There is something extremely attractive about being the kind of person who knows what makes them happy and takes the steps to stay that way.” I guess, seeking authenticity is part of mainstream and even corporate culture now. “We need to stick doing what we love doing and spend time with whom we love spending it,” says Beck. There is a lot of throwing left and right of being authentic, being weird or being badass. Francesca Gino has a class at HBS called “how to be a badass at work: forget authenticity.” Like being authentic isn’t enough, you have to emphasize that to the fullest. You have to celebrate it. She is advocating that “you should bring your full self to work and turn up the volume on your personal strengths up to 11.” It’s funny how they teach you in college something that you naturally have been born with. Yale researchers state that the qualities like normal or weird exist along a continuum, and separating them is almost impossible: “our strengths and weaknesses are intimately tied.” And categorizations are cultural anyway. According to Francesca and her colleague, “being yourself makes you three times more likely to be successful than trying to cater to what you think the other person wants to hear.” And like this wouldn’t be enough, Melinda French Gates emphasizes that fitting in is overrated. But what about the ones living outside of the exceptionalism bubble where everything is possible and everyone strives to put a dent in the universe?! What about regular 9 to 5 world? I guess the 9 to 5 is slowly but surely disappearing into buzzword concepts aka metaverse where you definitely can be weird or anything you like, really. My friend was just interviewed for a job by an AI bot, who slowly typed the questions (with this: 💬) and at the end declared that “we will be in touch”, while another one applying for a startup was confronted with a question whether she will be able to bring her brilliant weirdness into existing ethos of innovation. When you are yourself with people and you connect with them, those relationships are for life. You feel more pleasure, too, at least I do - when not molding myself into the shapes of others. And honestly, what else is there, if not only the pleasure of this moment? Find the courage to live it. Courage is underrated, confidence is overrated. I agree with that.
> WHAT ARE YOUR GIFTS AND TALENTS?!
So, then - after you stop being invisible, placating others or being a sheep, what’s next?! You need to figure out what makes you unique. What do you emanate? And then give it to the world. Alanis Morissette had her last concert a week ago in Hollywood Bowl, and I missed it! Was watching her videos the other night and almost cried, all emotional, thinking about the 90’s. “[…] I am little bit of everything: I am a bitch, I am a lover, I am a child, I am a mother, I am a sinner I am a saint, I am your hell, I am your dream” - being all the facets that you can be (I can’t believe I missed it!). You can be an inspiration to others by being yourself. Michaela Boehm says that “men learn via challenge and women learn via resonance.” It is a pure pleasure discovering my missing feminine roles in her class on 12 Facets of the Feminine. Was I aware that I am also a siren?!! You are not only a good wife, mother, student, professional and tax payer (write in here whatever applies to you). You are also singing a song that makes you irresistible. Are you singing it? DO you know that your song also inspires others to do miraculous things with their lives? My thinking was always that you need to give first to receive something, but at this particular point of my life, I think that you just keep giving and might never get anything back. And your purpose is exactly that. And your pleasure is exactly that. Isn’t this weird?! And your talent besides being a talented coder or a wonderful cellist, can be simple - wearing a piece of the royal motif upholstery with two holes for arms and a laminated wrapping paper dress in public - my friend saw this quirky lady in Berlin, and her daughter declared in fascination: “she is my muse now.” Isn’t this a gift?
> ECCENTRICITY OR JUST GENUINE PRIDE (both are good)
Eccentricity has many different ways and looks. London always gives me shivers about how cool, different and creative people can be. Cultivating their personality. Living their facets either in punk or in harajuku girl frocks. Remember, I wrote about the uniform? I am 100% behind that concept, but I also agree with Rory Sutherland saying that “if you are wholly predictable, people learn to hack you.” Randomness is a good way to avoid that. But let’s talk first about being rebellious. There is this test - “what kind of rebel are you?” - and my results are - high resistance to external and internal pressures: a pirate. Which contains all five rebel talents: novelty, curiosity, perspective, diversity and authenticity. And advice to a pirate is to further develop his talent - “consider how you might encourage others to constructively break the rules” - and that’s exactly what I enjoy the most doing in life! Spot on. YES, I agree, it’s great to be a rebel, eccentric and authentic. But what to do if you discover it later in life after being the one who likes to hide? I don’t think it’s possible to unsee it. Here enters a really cool term that I never heard before - genuine pride. Genuine pride is connected to being inspired by reaching goals and advantageous results, feeling upbeat emotions, having-self respect, believing in one’s ability to take on challenges, and viewing accomplishments as one’s own exertion and capacity. Hubristic pride, on the other hand, is more self-aggrandizing wanting to have an upper hand over people. So, by being genuinely proud - of being weird, for example, or of your courage and curiosity, you can achieve way more. And that’s an amazing thing to know.
> BEING SENSITIVE to oneself and to things that make and don’t make sense
To your own body. Adapting everything to your taste. Listening to your own voice and rejecting the standard behavioral modes, conformism, outside expectations or your own automatic reactions learned through life. When I first moved to France, I was shocked how sensitive people were to their own needs, feelings, peculiarities and other little things. They appropriate everything that is happening to their own scale and preferences. Listen to an interview with an American - he will suggest how to make something more effective, like “oh yes, and we can make it better by xyz.” Listen to an interview with a French politician (real story), and he will start answering the journalist's question with “no, you are wrong”, which obviously made him feel very good. This contrarian attitude is cultural - I wouldn’t be surprised if conflict rhetoric is protected by the French constitution. And it is so seductive when one knows how to say NO, without caring about the impression they will leave to others. Listen to yourself. It’s the key ingredient in creativity and playfulness. This is to be definitely learned from Frenchies.
Do I consider myself weird? Yes! Being shy as a child I suffered from a constant feeling of inadequacy, and only after turning 30, I started truly obnoxiously and loudly celebrating what I call “my crazy self.” But now, reflecting on it, I see only a very standard story of being sensitive, refusing to fit in but also not being too timid for owning it. That’s definitely something you can work on.
> EVERYDAY INSPIRATIONS
“Those who are more open to inspiration are more likely to experience it,” says Scott Kaufman. Inspiration awakens to new possibilities by allowing us to transcend our ordinary lives and limitations. Psychologists Todd M. Trash and Andrew J. Elliot discovered that those who get inspired more often were people that had a certain openness to experience. Openness to the silliness and to new things, to something that doesn’t really make sense at first. Circling back to Rory Sutherland - “business, creativity and the arts are full of successful non-sense.” One of the measurements of creativity and one of main components to it is “called divergent (or random) thinking, which is the ability to generate diverse solutions to open-ended problems.”
Being open and being sensitive, as well as taking genuine pride in your uniqueness as well as courage to pursue it, allows you to perceive more and to dive into the randomness of the reality which you create moment by moment while living your life. Anarchist anthropologist David Graeber is tinkering with his new book idea about the play principle in nature: “the most basic level of being is play rather than economics, fun rather than rules, goofing around rather than filling in forms.” I was watching how to train Viszlas - those dogs are extremely sensitive and clever. You have to use a lot of positive reinforcement, patience and treats. SO, why don’t we use it for yourselves as well? While we are trying to be more open and sensitive to our weirdness. Give oneself treats for learning how to live a pleasurable life. Sounds better than sex, as one of my friends says.
FIVE questions for your homework:
> Do you feel guilty for diving into pleasure realms? What feeling flushes you when you enter the domain of incredibly good experiences?
> Imagine you are going to die tomorrow. Is there anything you would do before it happens? What would that be?
> What are you wearing now - is that truly you - or only a mild version of yourself?
> Are you enjoying the change of seasons in the Northern hemisphere? Is it possible that you are so wrapped up in your routine that you haven’t even noticed it?!
> When you lie down on a yoga mat - can you feel the world with your body?
#quirky #theparadoxoflife
Yurga
Never not smiling lately. Modus operandi of a pirate!! Mystical end of the year season makes me want to be an alchemist, too!
Persephone is going back to her husband. The summer is over, back to the underworld of psyche. // Bernini
10 things to do before the end of the year >
1) Breathe your pain with openness. Not sure if this makes sense, but you are so much more flourishing when you infuse your failings (because sometimes we all feel like experiencing them!) with aliveness. So, go ahead and entangle yourself with the universe. Every time the uncomfortable arises, breath with it.
2) Get closer to people who challenge your thinking. This is not the same as people who make you question yourself, says Nedra Tawwab. As a boundaries expert, she has a very useful workbook coming out in December for those who don’t know how to say NO.
3) Go to a national park. There is a small probability that you will find a 4-carat yellow diamond there (as this one). But otherwise, you can successfully enjoy mosquito bites, autumn colors or snowflakes depending on your location and study alt-coins on your way back home (inflation numbers keep rising).
4) Fertilize your plants. Because it really helps.
5) Take a break from reading. My eyesight doubly worsened during the lockdown, so I am taking a break from books and digital screens.
6) Actually, never mind. Don’t stop reading. Yves Behar’s Designing Ideas is probably the first coffee table embellishment I was so into. Yves has a very personal and passionate way of telling his story. I didn’t know that he lives in San Francisco and is still creating cool things. One of them is a super popular baby crib called Snoo, which he calls a robot that takes care of your babies.
7) Anthro Vision by Gillian Tett: make familiar weird, and make weird familiar.
8) Stop wearing a bra for a minute (see more bellow - on my micro operation and how I am not a fan of bras now).
9) Magnesium pills with ashwaganda (unless you are pregnant, then Mg is not good for you).
10) Replace coffee with some kind of mushroom concoction. Adaptogens give energy. For example, a mix of chaga + cordyceps and cacao. With frothed oat milk and cocoa butter. Reminds me how I used to make coffee from acorns when I was seven (until a bee stung my finger sneakily - she was hiding in the acorn - I gave up and moved into making wreaths from dried flowers).
+ visual board for November:
Quirky French generational icons. Charlotte made a movie about Jane. It came out as a portrait of both - a daughter artist, and a mother artist - an iconic wife of late Serge Gainsbourg, a muse of all Birkins, a singer and a mom to talented children. On timidity, guilt, their relationship, aging and the beauty of being a woman. Some critics are claiming the movie is shapeless, but I think having Charlotte’s gentle eye on her mom is priceless. // photo: Daniele Venturelli
This metal Comb amulet was my inspiration for the first JUNETHINGS design in 2015. A perfect shape of minimal and architectural. It’s the most beautiful story in the Baltic mythology that has real artifacts, which date back to the 7-9th century: when you were chased by a witch, evil or some kind of life failure, you would throw the comb amulet over your shoulder, and a forest protecting you would rise from the spikes. A forest that protects us - what a wonderful idea. This is my version of this spell >
Ginger cutie that makes weird sticky lip faces. Runs up to 40mph with flapping ears trying to take off. Chomps on her own feet for entertainment. A super smart, extremely affectionate, gentle and sensitive puppy. That pink nose is so so so lovely. Part shark, part kangaroo, part dingus, part dinosaur. The closest breed to cats. I guess I am a Viszla fan now! Called a nuts dog or a “velcro” (because it sticks to you 24/7), I have never seen anyone more loving and lovable. My cinnamon girl, I would name her Winnifred. // photo: buddy Burming
Just for a change. Never explored any of Yeezy shoes. These are pretty cool! For walkies with my little Winnie.
Not a devotee of colorful glass for drinking (only to keep them as objects), this light and color game is so pretty. You can add warmth to any minimal space by displaying your collection in a visible spot. // photo:
Incredible work. This water is all pencil. Probably my favorite and most memorable San Francisco MOMA show (not that I have seen many). Vija Celmins is a Latvian American artist with a pretty cool artistic goal of saying the unsayable. Now, 83, originally from Riga, lives and works in New York. “Somehow the image begins to have a sort of memory in it, even if you can't see it. It can build up a dense feeling toward the end, and then it makes me happier,” says she. And that’s so true - the unsayable has such a strong power over us.
I would say, fancy watch, dear Mullah Baradar. Well done. Hope that motivates you to bring the country to stability. What I do when procrastinate? Google sartorial nuances and educational background (as well as their prison time) of autocrats. // photo: twitter
As always into practical: a backpack and a medium size crossbody at the right length for your proportions is something I would go for. // photo: Bottega Veneta
Sweater that fits all our autumnal - wintery requirements: warm, elegant, covering, open and quirky. // photo: Bottega Veneta
Hubble telescope is 10 years younger than me and slowly falling apart. This is depressing. Need to up my cardio game and stop flaking the exercise routine. // photo: NASA
When you get something so classic and elegant (LIKE THIS COAT - PANTS OR BOOTS), you can start jumping out of joy because it’s forever. Or almost, (things wear off, actually), that’s why buying better quality is a better investment - it last longer. Elementary, my dear Watson! // photo: Bottega Veneta
What a beautiful hair. What a beautiful woman. What a beautiful cover. What a beautiful idea. What a lame caption. Obsessed. // photographer: Ferry van der Nat, Iñigo Awewave, Ryan Pfluger, creative director: David Martin
Agree! This is a beautiful grounding routine that works for any goal. Immerse into it to the fullest.
A MORE PLEASURABLE WARDROBE with our style yoga class: less trends and more of your personality + relaxed and fun approach + acquiring smart long-term buying skills is the formula.
Chrysanthemum for me was always a flower of mourning, funerals and a crawling sneaky winter. Looking like a zen opera singer, the blossom emanates calm architectural beauty. Chrysanthemum tea is super delicious, too! Check out Chrysanthemum festivals around the world to get more familiar with it’s magic.
Jewelry layering can be difficult, but doesn’t have to. Do you guys need a layering class?!
Freedom. Accepting your core self (or locating it and then owning) is the path to the sovereignty. // photo: Rainer Judd, Agave Festival Marfa
For me, Carlo Mollino - an enigmatic architect-photographer-magician - is the master of sophisticated masculine elegance. His furniture is incredibly beautiful to look at.
“He was a wunderkind engineer, a trailblazing architect, an intrepid photographer of the surreal and the erotic, an award-winning race-car designer, a decorated stunt pilot and downhill skier, and a passionate occultist,” says Artsy about Mollino. This is his apartment in Turin. // photo: Valentina Ortaggi
More than a thousand erotic polaroids were found at a secret Carlo Mollino apartment after he died. These photos have the same magic and magnetic quality as his interiors or his furniture - something dangerously enticing and so elegant at the same time.
Parallel universe in pink. // photo: Jan Vranovsky
Alanis Morissette was definitely my inspiration when growing up. Not only music, but her Americana flannels mixed with oriental satin dresses enveloped into her long wavy hair. I can’t believe I missed her last concert in LA. Feels like an era ends. Someone recently said, “if your birth date starts with 19, you are getting old.” That made me laugh but the laugh was a bit hysteric. “I hate the world today” makes me slip into the memory land. Isn’t it ironic?! // photo: alanis.com
October wasn’t burning this year in California. A big check mark. Apocalyptic aesthetics in 2021 were mostly found in Beeple’s art. // photo: LATimes
In love with this sticky pink space. Every time I see it, I imagine that this is probably how my mom’s womb should have looked when I was there. Artist PAMELA ROSENKRANZ named this Our Product in the Swiss Pavilion for Venice biennale in 2015 > "...pale liquid the color of average Central European skin tone. Widely used in advertising to attract attention, this skin color harks back to carnation used throughout the Renaissance to represent flesh tones."
PORTABLE XMAS TREE CANDLE is a very clever name for a candle.
Do crazy stuff with your hair. Also - take supplements for it. Arey is highly recommended! My greys were tamed with it. And inverse conditioner - do it before shampoo. Thick and silky texture is perfect to indulge combing locks with your fingers. // photo: Yohji Yamamoto AW 2010/ 2011.
The prince of the weird. Vitalik Buterin was named one of 100 people of the year 2021 by TIME magazine. “No one person could’ve possibly come up with all of the uses for Ethereum, but it did take one person’s idea to get it started,” said Ohanian. “From there, a new world has opened up, and given rise to new ways of leveraging blockchain technology.” Crypto wunderkind is 27 and often wears t-shirts with cats and unicorns while explaining technology bents, growing pains and showing off his integrity on Bloomberg. // photo: David Paul Morris
Some serious snuggles. Just because it’s getting cold especially at night, and you definitely need a heated blanket of warm hugs.
Very nice to touch. If you don’t have a Vizsla yet, you can always go and pet ginger pencils in an art store.
I think this is my favorite wireless bra choice from NEGATIVE UNDERWEAR. Love this purplish navy color.
They say Dior is fancy Zara. I kind of agree, but would take this shimmery outfit that reminds me of the 90’s and Romeo Gigli (or Armani, no?!). To wear with heel boots and a white t-shirt to celebrate something in pre-holiday December. Love the idea of the austere twinkle. // photo: vogue.com
How perfect is her behind? Exercise is essential. Even if you hate it. Your butt will thank you. Just 10 minutes a day. // photo: desi backgrid
More and more people are retiring from old brands (aka Lagerfeld/ Chanel generation). And those names are bringing in new energy. So exciting. Chanel make-up or beauty products are always a great gift idea (email me if you need help orchestrating your gifting lists). // photo: Chanel
So cool, right?! // photo: Chanel
Old - new (transitional Pieter Mulier) AlaĂŻa. Would love this to be a jumpsuit - shorts. Conventional, preppy and different at the same time - because you have so much color and craziness right now. This is just the right amount of chic. Would love to go dancing in it.
Not a big fan of ropes but this botanical dye from The Waight is really something unique. The founder, Courtney dyes the garments in her kitchen. See me in the photo bellow wearing the top! I truly like it regardless that I never go for beige, crop tops or puffy sleeves.
I would wear it out with laced boots or these chic hiking shoes, small intreciato crossbody and reversible shearling (real or fake!). Then you add a cashmere beanie in asian red, 2 scarves and you are ready to go see Macy’s parade in New York (cold as hell, and I always bail out on it).
Love these laces. If you are still saving for an emerald ring, (or you don’t care about it), go with fancy green shoe laces. I suspect emerald could be a color of 2022, unless Pantone remembers that it was already officialized in 2013.
Pioneering in taste. He is called a fermentation fanatic by influential media: during the pandemic René Redzepi realized his 20-year project - make something you can bring home from Noma (or if you have never been there - taste it). Use this ancient sauce in your cooking to add a flavor. Gurum is a potent umami enriched condiment. If you are into fermentation, read Noma book on this artistic chemical process and get into the groove. The only thing you will need is mastering the technique and getting Koji on Amazon. And then email us the results!! // photo: Ditte Isager
Getting ready for holidays. Not very convenient to do errands during the day or indulge into muddy European weather. I love keeping beautiful unworn shoes somewhere in a visible place and admire them as an object. Gives my barefoot (or cosy socks) world a certain je ne sais pas quoi allure that immediately uplifts. // photo: Bottega Veneta
Not sure what I like here better - a coat or a theme of the quiet. The look is a mix of crafty and glamorous. Some kind of a chic Appalachian nomad. For LA weather or next spring in Europe. Although this Chloe and Sheltersuit hooded puffer is so awesome for the winter. Reversible and upcycled fabrics. New Chloé pieces are 🔥, as well as their art direction. // photo: Chloé
I had an operation on my ribcage (see below) and wasn’t able to wear bras for a couple of months. It’s actually a super nice feeling. Very liberating. Except one medical paper says that older women risk getting breast cancer by not wearing bras. So do your research before going braless. Now I am updating them all to the wireless designs to have less tension on my scar. See my most favorite ones. This one is from ERES.
Almost healed!! After removing a weird mole and the margins. So, going full face with a PSA here > check your beauty marks regularly!!! Everyone told me - just keep watching it and I insisted on removing it. Biopsy came back “weird - atypical - inflamed - remove the margins asap.” Trust your gut. And watch out if your bra touches your birth marks - that could be the cause for inflammation.
Beautiful. Love that pink and ochre. Indian illustration of the subtle body channels which kundalini transverses.
Started to practice this union with the trees and it’s truly pleasurable. Merge your energy field with the forest.
Recently I met an old friend, and she dropped me off at home after our tea session (first and last time I had chamomile tea with milk). Seeing a gorgeous tree next to the building, she asked me - are you giving some love to it? Sadly, I don’t. Need to fix that!!
A punch of energy is this Chloe dress by Gabriella Hearst. Hope it’s not itchy. I personally don’t like tight wooly clothes in winter, but this one is just an amazing mash-up of glamorous DIY that I just can’t resist. // photo: Chloé
Great gift for someone who likes ideas and inspiration.
Linking to our text on openness.
Can’t wait what Phoebe shows us next year. She always makes a mark on my new decade. The last big milestone in my life was accentuated with her coming over to Céline. Now is a new phase. SO exciting to see what’s there. Hope she enjoys pre-launch preparations and will shower us with new wardrobe essentials.
A lovely weird couple. Nothing is more delightful than a weird couple. Should be in the red book of extinction species. // photo: NBCU
One of my favorite movies is “Faces” (1968) by John Casavettes staring his wife Gena (born on June 19th!). The movie shows emotions and thoughts with cinéma vérité-style close-ups and it’s magic.
One more gifting option for inspiration seekers > “at once informative, intelligent, and deeply personal, At a Distance explores the dramatic changes that could be possible going forward and provides a hopeful, rationally optimistic guide toward the future.”
I collect my moments. Sometimes they are sharp and punchy. But in a long time perspective all the dots connect perfectly. Celebrate the handsome, somber and the ever changing.
Daniel Lee just left the new Bottega. Curious about the details and what kind of riffs have offset that. But let’s go back to the clothing - their presentation in Denver was unique! Same move as Balenciaga / Simpsons: diving into middle America. High end luxury houses get their inspiration in the normalcy and suburbia. Which I think is super cool. References, music, mixing of casual and bourgeois. Impeccable! Too much exposure, though?! Not really, you can still find things that no one wears (or hire me to do it). You might have to go to Milan to get those pieces, but most likely you can have them ship it to you wherever you live. BY THE WAY, how cool is this outfit?! To wear with a huge parka in February. // photo: Bottega Veneta.
Airport bathrooms are fun. Especially with our 3 BEADS RING in silver (in pre-order mode). This is a crazy good gift option if you know her ring size (or for yourself!).
